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*News Flash* - Minnesota Air Disaster Minnesota's worst air disaster could have occurred earlier today when a small two seater Cessna 110 crashed into a Norwegian Lutheran cemetery here early this morning. Ole and Sven, search and rescue workers, have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues feverishly into the evening. The Portrait A wife decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied. "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry." Anniversary Gift Two older gentleman were talking and one said to the other, "You're having an anniversary soon, right?" "Yup, a big one ... 20 years," the other one answered. "Wow," said the first guy, "what are you going to get your wife for your anniversary?" "She's always wanted to go to Australia," came the reply, "so I thought I'd take her there." "Wow, Australia, that's some gift!" said the other man. "That's going to be hard to beat. What are you going to do for your 25th anniversary?" "Oh, I'll probably go back and get her." Checking Out The businessman on his deathbed called his friend, "Fred, I want you to promise me when I die you will have me cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with the ashes?" The businessman said, "Put them in an envelope and mail to the IRS. Write this on the envelope, ... NOW YOU HAVE EVERYTHING." Speaking Of The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you!
This Should Just About Do It Alabama Special Forces soon may be sent in to Afghanistan. Pfc. Billy Bob, Lance Cpl. Bubba, Spc. Jim Bob, Spc. Scooter, and Pfc. Freddy would be sent in with the following information:
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