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Top 10 Stupid Criminals 2004 Heard of Dacy? He's a small-time convict who made big-time news last December. While on probation for possession of marijuana and methamphetamines, Dacy split town without permission from his probation officer. Dacy, 46, apparently thought no one would find him and his teenage girlfriend in New York City. Did Dacy disappear into the masses? NO. He went on the "Ricki Lake Show." He appeared on a program called, "Older Men, Younger Women" Whereupon Dacy entered another program. Jail. He gets the local Dumb Crook Award for 2004. # 10 - On Nov. 29, a Long Island man stole $2,000 worth of digital camera equipment from a Wal-Mart. Before he took the merchandise, the man posed for a picture on a store demonstration camera, chained to the counter and held by a female accomplice. The man's mug appeared all over the Big Apple. New York Post headline: Wal-Mart 'Thief' Photo-Finished. # 9 - In October, a man wearing baggy pants with a T-shirt over his face held up a restaurant in Hendersonville, N.C. The robber jumped over the counter to reach the cash register, landed on his elbows, lost hold of the gun and fled. He tripped over a wooden picket fence and got stuck upside down. Police found him with his pants around his ankles. # 8 - A 24-year-old man was changing a flat tire on Interstate 35 in North Texas when police pulled over to help. The man, who had been convicted on multiple counts of drug possession, panicked. He tried to swallow a bag of marijuana and choked to death. # 7 - In August, an Akron, Ohio, man stole a small safe from a watering hole called the Nut House. The man hailed a cab, took the safe home, and explained to the driver that he had no money for the $12 fare, which is why he stole the safe. Robbed, the cabbie called police. Officers found the suspect still trying to open the safe. # 6 - In February, an inmate who escaped from Waco's McLennan County Jail in an orange jumpsuit broke into the theater department at Baylor to slip into something less conspicuous. Police apprehended the escapee in a leprechaun costume. # 5 - Last week in Naples, Fla., two jewelry theft suspects running from police climbed into a car they thought was a getaway vehicle only to discover the driver in the unmarked car was wearing a badge and a sheriff's jacket. # 4 - On Jan. 1, a man in Palm Beach County, Fla., stole a gun from a friend and robbed a gas station of $200. The robber left behind his wallet with four pieces of ID and three traffic tickets. # 3 - In February, a burglar broke into a Mineral Wells store, emptied the cash register, used the toilet without flushing it, left a pistol on a bathroom counter and fell asleep. In the morning, the store owner, the wife of the local district attorney, found the burglar snoring. When police awoke the intruder, he snapped, "Hey, I was asleep!" # 2 - In October, two men in Stuart, Fla., held up a gas station with a BB gun, getting beer and a hot dog. After leaving personal ID and a gun on the counter, the men called back and asked if they could swing by to pick up their belongings. No problem, said the surprised clerk. Great, said the robbers, who returned to find, no surprise: police. # 1 - In September, a California man was sentenced to 33 years for robbing a bank. Jesse Leonard Youngblood, 36, was a customer at the bank he robbed in Oroville. Hours after the heist, he returned to the bank to deposit some of the loot into his own account. Stupid Criminals * In Arizona, the company "Guns For Hire", which stages gunfights for movies and other productions, received a call from a woman asking if they could kill her husband. She was sentenced to 4 1/2 years. * In Arkansas, a man tried to throw a cinder block through a liquor store window. He failed to realize the window was made of Plexiglas, and the cinder block bounced back, hitting him on the head and knocking him out. * A would-be robber armed with a knife entered a gun shop but was shot at by three employees with guns. * In New Orleans, items stolen during a home burglary included jewelry and New Orleans Saints season tickets. The following Sunday at the Superdome, police arrested a man sitting in the homeowner's seat and wearing his jewelry. * Also in Louisiana, a man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash register, the man pulled a gun, demanded all the money and, after the clerk obliged, fled, leaving the $20 on the counter. The register contents -- $15. * In New Jersey, a man was getting ready for bed after hosting a party when he smelled bodily gas. Knowing it wasn't his, he called the police, who discovered a man in the closet waiting to rob the house. * In Ypsilanti, Mich., a man walked into a Burger King early one morning, pulled a gun and demanded money. The clerk told him he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. The would-be robber ordered onion rings, but again was rebuffed when the clerk replied that onion rings weren't available during breakfast hours. Frustrated, the man left. * A man walked into a drug store and as he was announcing his intention to rob the business he pulled a Hefty bag over his face. But he forgot to cut holes in the bag for his eyes, and while he was floundering around he was tackled by a customer. * In Seattle, police found a man vomiting in the street next to a motor home. Police said the man was attempting to siphon gasoline from the motor home but mistakenly inserted the hose into the vehicle's holding tank. * In South Carolina, a man was walking his dog in a resort area and carrying a bag of freshly-scooped doggie do-do when a purse-snatcher ran by, grabbed the bag and got away clean. Sort of. * A woman reported her car had been stolen, along with a cell phone. A policeman called the cell phone number, and when a man answered, the cop told him he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged a meeting, and the thief was arrested. * In Rochester, N.Y., a man decided the best time to steal a car was when the driver was getting out, so as the driver was attaching The Club to her steering wheel, the man attacked. The startled woman grabbed The Club and beat the assailant over the head. He was charged with robbery, assault and grand larceny, and three counts of being Felony Stupid.
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