| Life Support USA |
NEW EXERCISE ROUTINE FOR SENIORS I do this exercise 50 times a day... and love it. You might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some. ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE STARTING ANY EXERCISE PROGRAM. NOW SCROLL DOWN... NOW SCROLL UP... That's enough for the first day! Strange Affliction I thought I'd let my doctor check me Cause I didn't feel quite right... All those aches and pains annoyed me And I couldn't sleep at night. He could find no real disorder But he wouldn't let it rest What with my Medicare & Blue Cross, We should do a couple tests. To the hospital he sent me Though I didn't feel that bad, He arranged for them to give me Every test that could be had. I was fluoroscoped and cystoscoped, My aging frame displayed Stripped, on an ice cold table, While my gizzards were x-rayed. I was checked for worms and parasites, for fungus and the crud, While they pierced me with long needles taking samples of my blood. Doctors came to check me over, Probed and pushed and poked around, And to make sure I was living They then wired me up for sound. They have finally concluded, (Their results have filled a page), What I have will someday kill me; My affliction is OLD AGE. Ode to the Good Old Days... A Computer was something on TV From a science fiction show of note A Window was something you hated to clean And a Ram was the father of a goat. Meg was the name of a girlfriend And Gig was a job for the nights Now they all mean different things And that really Mega Bytes. An Application was for employment A Program was a TV show A Cursor used profanity A Keyboard was a piano. A Memory was something that you lost with age A CD was a bank account And if you had a 3-inch floppy You hoped nobody found out. Compress was something you did to the garbage Not something you did to a file And if you Unzipped anything in public You'd be in jail for a while. Log On was adding wood to the fire Hard Drive was a long trip on the road A Mouse pad was where a mouse lived And a Backup happened to your commode. Cut you did with a pocket knife Paste you did with glue A Web was a spider's home And a Virus was the flu. I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper And the Memory in my head. I hear nobody's been killed in a Computer crash But when it happens they wish they were dead.
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